How To Say No To Your Child – The Correct Way
As parents, we feel at times that we are always saying the word “No” to our children more times than yes, but easily we forget the importance of “it’s not what you say, but how you say it”.
We live BUSY lives, we have more on our plate than ever, sometimes we are stressed, over worked, tired, and anxious, but little do we realize how our own negative thoughts can come out in our tone of voice.
It becomes even more difficult to remain calm when our children start to whine, Ughh.. the dreaded whining.
Below, we are going to go over 5 ways on how to say to your child the correct way.
1. Follow Up With An Explanation.
It’s typical for children to request things from you that may seem daunting, non-productive, or even slightly dangerous. Our typical go-to answer is NO. If they insist, you start to feel annoyed and stressed.All of a sudden, you go from feeling satisfied after a nice family dinner, or a walk in the park, to then being annoyed with your child due to these demands your child is throwing at you.
Your tone of voice becomes filled with more anger which can come off harsh for your children, to the point where after a while, they will start to fear you. This is a no-go, instead, try following up the word no, with an explanation immediately after. “That’s a great idea sweetheart, maybe after dinner”. Your child will feel validated and respected as his demand or question wasn’t rejected.
2. Ask Your Child Questions.
Often times what our kids really want is to feel validated. They want their opinions heard and they want to feel important to the ones they love most. When you open up a dialogue with your children, this allows them to feel important and they will be more willing to work with you and respect your demands.
By asking your children questions, not only will you learn more about what they want and have a better understanding, but you will also be giving them the love and attention they deserve.
3. Let’s Speak About This At A Better Time
This is an important one, children are notorious for bringing up the wrong conversations at the worst possible times. That’s okay though, they are learning and growing. Telling your child “Let’s speak about this at a better time” will teach them the importance of patience and understanding. In that moment, all that child wants to do is for you to hear them out, however, there will be times when it’s just not possible.
Teaching your child patience is an important life skill and telling them to speak about their concern later will teach them not only patience, but also discipline.
4. Let’s Do This Instead
Offering an alternative is one of the best parent power moves you can make. It may not be exactly what your child wants to do, but it may just be good enough for your child to be satisfied with that new thing. What tends to happen more often than not is we as parents are so quick to say no and down play our child’s ideas, but by offering an alternative, this can save alot of headache!
5. Set Rules & Remind Your Child Of Them
Setting rules and boundaries are important, but are you reminding your children of the rules enough? It’s easy for a child to forget things at times, this is why reminding your children of the rules that you set in place and having your child repeat them back ensures that they understand the rules first of all, and secondly will help cement them in their heads so that they follow them accordingly.
We hope that you found value in this blog about how to say no to your child the correct way. We find as parents that it be a very difficult job communicating with your kids, but if you follow these steps, you will be at a much better position to maintain a healthy relationship with them!